you will be magnified, compensated,
made more than you are and
better than you have ever been
as you try to make honest effort, however
feeble you may sometimes feel that to be."
I've been thinking a lot about how to measure motherhood. I do think it should be measured - because there have always got to be things that we can do better. But I realize that it also needs to be a moderate measuring because there's so much good that's overlooked in favor of focusing on what we aren't or don't or haven't or didn't.
So what should be measured? Is it what you put in - time, energy, love, persistence, faith, endurance, sheer will? Or is it what you get out - and are these results even measurable before your children are grown and gone? Maybe it's best as a day by day kind of thing. Sometimes I hope that one 'good mom' moment will make up for several 'not so great mom' moments. Yesterday, for example. Reagan spent the day alternately playing nicely with his legos and begging to go to the park. I spent the day alternately feeding the baby, doing laundry and trying to work. Consequently - we did not go to the park. But finally - after running our last errand to the post office (just before closing and well after dark) I gave in to those 'good mommy' urges and took him to the mall to play there. Dinner was later, bedtime was later. But for a glorious little while - he got to play.
Where's the measurement in that? Do we measure how many time he asked to go the park and didn't or the time he spent playing at the playground in the mall? Do we measure my 'so much to do I can't' or 'sure, we'll make it happen'? Regardless, I find comfort in Elder Holland's promise that I will be magnified, compensated, and made more than I am and better than I have ever been - because I certainly need it.